It doesn’t have to be so grim.
The subject of Death and Funeral Planning obviously isn’t a nice thought. However, it is the only thing certain in life. It is the one constant thing that we will share with our ancestors and future generations. We are here to talk about why death shouldn’t be such a taboo subject and how funeral planning can be done beforehand.
A Life Lived.
For something to have ended, that mean it began. Now I think that is certainly something to talk about. A life is precious, filled with many memories, laughs and imprints. Those imprints can be career imprints, achievement imprints and also imprints on your heart. Without realising it, every step you take in life leaves an invisible impact on someone’s life.
With that in mind, why are we as a nation so terrified to address a life ending?
Do You Fear Death?
Not everyone has a fear of death, however it is safe to say that most do. Now, we are not saying become an adrenaline junky living on the edge, facing fears. That is a bit extreme (but if that’s what you’re in to, go for it!) However, the one thing that we can conquer is speaking about the scary subject: death. It may seem strange to be encouraged to speak about funeral planning. However, it shouldn’t be, you should be able to choose your own coffin! Why settle for a simple funeral when you can have on designed personally?
What is Death?
Firstly, let’s start with the definition of death. Death is known as “the end of a life”. Life coming to an end is clearly a very sensitive subject, that goes without saying, but why are we so scared to talk about it like speaking about it could add some kind of curse to us?
Your Wishes Need To Be Heard
You have to ask yourself, what do I want? There are so many funeral planning options nowadays that if not planned beforehand, it can prove to be incredibly stressful and overwhelming for grieving loved ones. You need to consider laying the person to rest. Perhaps a time rich unhurried woodland green burial, these can be more meaningful or you may prefer cremation. There is not just where you want to be laid to rest but which coffin would you choose as there are so many different designs and choices, what music would you like to be played? Would you like there to be donation box for your chosen charity? What kind of flowers would you like? food and beverage location and much more to think of. As you can see, there is a lot to get your head and if your loved ones are grieving it can be terribly stressful.
Funeral Planning could save a lot of stress on those left behind.
Save Your Loved One From More Stress And Upset
When you are grieving, you are at one of the most vulnerable times of your life and most likely to just go to the last funeral director your family used and accept their rates. They may well have looked after another family member or friends funeral BUT they also may have kept the trading name but now sold out to an expensive large chain and you will never know until the large bill comes. Ask them if they are Independent?
Most families find themselves poorly prepared to deal with the choices, problems, costs and indecision when a death occurs. It is a tragedy that every family will experience – everyone will deal with a death at some point. To be prepared ahead of time gives peace of mind, showing love and concern for those left behind. When you plan ahead you can do so in private or together, relieving the indecision for a surviving spouse plus minimising expenses and giving reassurance that the plans are right – just what you would have wanted. Children and friends are not forced to make decisions for their parents, to try to cover expenses, or have disagreements with siblings over what Mum and Dad / their friends would have wanted.
When you make your pre purchases in advance, the prices are frozen, no matter how high the prices are in the future. Remember, on average funerals have doubled in price every 10 years so it’s a wise person who pre plans, your funeral directing costs are fixed and stay the same so saving you worry, stress and costs.
When To Discuss Funeral Planning
Most people find that the earlier you speak about your funeral wishes the better. This is because, whilst you are in good health, it is seen as a less taboo subject. Speak about your crazy ideas, what music you want to listen to and what colour coffin you want. Make it fun, discuss memories and treat the subject as light-hearted as possible. Planning a funeral, that isn’t needed yet, can be as imaginative and detailed as possible, without the added grief. In addition, you will be able to research into your plans more and discover methods of burial that you didn’t even realise existed. You don’t have to just have a simple funeral.
Finding The Best Way To Broach The Subject
Some families are open and honest about the subject. You may be able to openly speak about your wishes in a light-hearted sense. If that is the case, while talking about death, make sure to mention what you would/ wouldn’t like.
Not everyone feels so open about the subject. It is completely normal to feel like you can’t talk about death and your funeral plans. One awkward conversation is all that is needed. You will be surprised at how many people actually don’t mind speaking about death and plans; it is a common misconception that you can’t talk about it. In fact studies have shown that over 70% of people are comfortable to speak about death with their family/friends.
Speak About Other Funerals you have been to or heard about
One way to broach the subject is to mention something about another person’s funeral. This can be one you’ve attended or a celebrity one. You could compliment something about the service and then go on to saying “I’d like … at my funeral” and expand from there. This can be an easy way to approach the subject and easily begin speaking about your wishes.
Talking To Children
Speaking about death to children can be a very scary thought. Unfortunately, it is something that should be broached to a child so that they are made aware of the impact death could have. Studies have shown that over half of Brit’s don’t want their children exposed to the meaning of death. This is due to people not knowing how to broach the subject, or fear of the children not understanding.
Explaining Death To Children
A suggested way to explain death to children is through reading. You could read a book where a character in the book may have had a loss and then expand on it so that they are aware about it. This allows you to answer any questions they may have.
Additionally, you could begin by speaking about a death of an animal or pet you may have had in the past. This is a great way of showing that memory still goes on and that they are no longer with you but it is ok to speak about it. Seeing a parental figure openly speaking about a loss will definitely make children feel that they can express their feelings about it.
Ways To Plan Your Funeral
What many people don’t realise is you can actually plan every detail of your funeral through a funeral service such as Respect Direct Funeral Services.
They have lots more free advice.
Read more about how and why we need to be open about speaking about death here.
You can even make a pre payment plan into protected independent trusts so that your loved ones have nothing to worry about during the grieving process.