The loss of a loved one is difficult and emotional for all
their friends and family, but for children, a death can be a particularly
upsetting and confusing time. Unless they are very young, most children may
have some concept of death, but they may not fully understand the implications,
or how to react when it does happen.
As a parent, it’s natural to want to protect your children
from the pain of loss, but it’s important for the whole family to have a
healthy outlet for their grief. While it’s a sensitive subject, there are
things you can do to open up a discussion with your children and help them feel
more secure in the immediate aftermath following a loss. If you’re coping with
grief or loss, then see below for a brief guide to helping children through
this difficult time.
It’s important for the whole family to be open and honest
with their feelings, and children may have a lot of questions about death or
the afterlife. If you’re struggling to put your feelings into words, there are
many age-appropriate books on the market about death which you could read
together as a starting point. If children are struggling to express themselves
with words, try drawing, looking at photo albums or sharing stories about the
deceased.
Whether or not a child attends a funeral is a personal
choice; they may not be old enough or simply not ready for such an event. It
can help to explain briefly what will happen at a funeral so children feel more
prepared about what to expect. You could say that people might be very sad, but
this is to be expected and a funeral is a way to say goodbye to whoever has
passed.
While it’s important to be age appropriate, being direct and
honest with children about death is in many ways more helpful than using
euphemisms like ‘asleep’ or ‘lost’. This can confuse children further and
possibly make them more anxious, as children tend to interpret things
literally. They may be feeling frightened and unsettled that someone else close
to them will pass away next, so it’s important to reassure them that they are
safe and supported.
There can be a lot of upheaval surrounding a death, from
organising the funeral to sorting out the deceased’s estate. It’s likely you’ll
be busy during the next immediate few weeks, but children can benefit
enormously from sticking to a familiar routine as much as possible. Don’t be
afraid to ask for help from family and friends so you have time to deal with
your own grief; many people are more than happy to help during such a difficult
time.
If you’ve recently lost a loved one and need
practical and emotional support, get in touch with Normington and Sons. Our
funeral directors have over 60 years of experience supporting families in
Wakefield, and we’re on hand to help you give your friend or family the send
off they deserve. For more information about our funeral services, give us a
call or visit
our website
today.
